That girl who walks into a room and everyone cowers because she’s never nice, her energy sucks and she comes across as being better than them all. Yup I’ve been her. A few times. Sometimes for a day, other times for years. That girl is a bully. She sucks the life out of everyone around her. Heck, she sucked the life out of me!
Today I was chatting with an incredible friend whom I’ve known for years and years but just recently became close with again. It’s funny how the universe works, bringing people back into your life when you need them most. That’s what happened with this friend. She entered my life again when the universe saw a big opportunity for me to grow. The one person that my heart and mind needed in order to reach my full potential and heal the most for this chapter appeared right there in front of me… From my past.
The cool thing, and I probably wouldn’t have referred to this as cool a year ago, is that this individual has sat in the background and watched me at my worst for many years. She saw me when I was that girl. And I’m pretty dang sure she didn’t like me any more than I liked me. At least I hope she didn’t.
Anyway, our conversation today drifted to a new road I’m trying to head down… Clinics. I was telling my friend excitedly about the awesome lady I’m working alongside and our ultimate goal with this new venture – – to create a loving and open community in barrel racing. Now, what’s super cool about this duo we’ve recently become is that myself and my partner haven’t got the smoothest past. We’ve been mean girls… Alot of times towards each other. We’ve been each other’s biggest competition. We’ve hated on each other. And now, we have mad respect for each other. We work out of the same facility, doing the same job. And every single day, we help each other. We celebrate each other and the job we’ve done. We care about each other and we make sure the other person knows how thankful we are. We are excited to work together.
What does that have to do with me being the bully? Well, as I was describing the intention and hopes we have for these clinics, I made the offhand comment “I’ve been the bully.” My friend stopped me and told me how incredible and powerful it was that I was willing and able to admit that and that she hopes I share that tidbit when we are doing our clinics. That’s when I realized just how incredible this thing could be. It’s one thing for the nicest person in the world to stand in front of a group and preach to be kind to each other, but for someone to get up there and start with “I’ve been the bitch”…. That’s even more powerful.
Now, I’m not standing on my soap box saying I’m now an amazing, perfect person because I’m not. The bully still comes out, especially when my imposters syndrome hits and I feel insecure. Or when I think I’m right (that’s partially a woman thing tho right? 🙏), or when I feel backed into a corner. But, as my friend pointed out today – – I’m happy. I’m living my absolute best life and the life I dreamed of is slowly but surely manifesting into reality. And because I’m happy, my self confidence is higher and I’ve become someone who people want to be around. I work very very hard to be kind to everyone, even if it’s hard. Sometimes I still slip up, but I, like everyone, am a work in progress.
I guess where I’m trying to go with this post is to advocate for the sunshine and rainbows that we all deserve to experience on a daily basis. Yes, we all have bad days, but if we can all just be a little more aware of that fact, maybe we’ll all start being a little nicer to each other. And reality is, if I can change my outlook… Everyone and anyone else can too.
Thanks for reading friends 💕